WHAT TIME IS IT?

I have been incredibly busy or maybe I would like to think so just in the hopes of me  not thinking about the miscarriage. Anyway while I did close the chapter on  my mini IVF journey on my other blog for now which is http://www.ivfohmy.blogspot.com/  the ending really is the finality of the D & C I had to do this past tuesday morning. It was just so.......FINAL. Everyone in the Doctor's office tried to be so supportive and nice to me but the reality is I was there to confirm the ending of a pregnancy I wanted more than anything I could of  imagined. The pain was similar to me loosing my dad....but I started to focus on the positive because as I mentioned with starting this new blog....it's time to heal. I saw this pic and that is EXACTLY how I feel... am thankful regardless of the way I feel.

DH (Dear Heart) was with me and spent the day catering to me for the most part while he tried to sleep as he did work the night before. Against his wishes I decided to see my primary doctor the same day in the afternoon, I was feeling okay just crampy but I am tough. Anyway of course his concerm is the rapid weight gain in such a short period of time so YEP time to get my butt in gear.

 TIME FOR ME
I have a spa day planned with the girls next weekend, the masseuse is supposedly some hot guy, my friend...married friend has been drooling at for some time. LOL eye candy is good candy she says. Anyway I cancelled my trip for memorial weekend out of town so plans have changed and I have to find something interesting to keep me busy ALL weekend. 

WEDDING PLANNING

ARRGGGHHHH is the best way to describe my mood about it. I love EVENT planning but  when it is for SOME ONE ELSE!!.I love to be inspired and to create themes so why can't I come up with my own wedding plans? I feel like my creative juices are not flowing. At the moment lots of blank stares, confusion, and just me shoving things aside only to realize that the time is winding down. I refuse to commit to a dress until I loose at least 15 pounds (goal is 25) Our budget is really tight too, I have fantasized about just going to Vegas and skipping the headache but I want to enjoy that day with family and friends. The theme for me really is to dance the night away...nothing too fancy. I have been on the wedding boards alot and it brings me some sanity relief but it has its share of stresses too...check out http://www.weddingbee.com/  I really like that site. I am almost done with our wedding website on the the knot but to be honest it is BORING...there isnt much you can do so I am going to try to find other free sites so I can do something with more of our personalities which for the most part is fun loving. Truth be told DH is the laid back one between us, I tend to think of the what if's and he tells me to just live and whatever happens happens....I am learning so much from being with him....He truly is very simple and doesnt allow the little things to complicate life. I wish we were celebrating me being a mother soon but God knows best so we have accepted that, now let me work on becoming a wife and planning this wedding.